Posted in Guest Posts, Was It Worth It?

Monsters under the bed  

-by Lucy Mwelu

Usually when I hear this phrase (the topic of course) I am watching a white film. Usually a child filled with trepidation by a notion of ‘something’ predatory taking a sojourn under their bed. The child makes a real fuss before giving in during which the caring parent will talk to them in a coaxing voice whilst rocking them back and forth, some even offer to let the child sleep with them in their rooms. In short, in these films, these kids end up feeling safe because to them, no monster is stronger than their heroes; their parents.
Continue reading “Monsters under the bed  “

Posted in Thoughts

Simple, Happy and Okay

I sit at the front. It’s the front of a matatu or the cockpit if you will. It sounds fancy but y’all know it isn’t.

I sit in the small seat that isn’t actually a seat. It’s wedged in between the driver’s seat and the actual passenger seat and I know it’s going to be the worst 3 hours of my life. Continue reading “Simple, Happy and Okay”

Posted in Was It Worth It?

He had Cancer

He could see it on the doctor’s face as he came in with the test results. There’s this look that they all have, it’s pretty distinct. If you spend enough time in a hospital, you’ll get to know it too. It’s usually pity mixed with am so sorry and a sprinkling of glad it’s not me. I know, it sounds cynical but that is the vibe he always got from that face, the face that was looking at him at this very moment. Continue reading “He had Cancer”

Posted in Poetry

I still love you

You really did a number on me…

And even though I want to hate you with all of my guts and wish you the worst that this world can give, I can’t.
I just can’t.
Maybe because I still love you.

I sit here and all I can think about is what you’re doing at this very moment
Whether you’re still working on your painting and your art
About what you’re wearing and whether you’re wearing that perfume that I bought you
And whether you still enjoy vanilla ice cream because I can’t stand it anymore; not if I’m not having it with you
Or whether you still wear my hoodies and smell in my scent, still chewing on the strings like you used to do
And if you still think about me the same way I think about you because I’m not over you

I just want to know whether you hurt as much as I do because maybe then I’ll know it’s okay not to hate you.